Minimum Tempo

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, and it’s finally here. I ceased Mizunashi Mode a couple of weeks ago. Mizunashi Mode ended prematurely because I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I found something else. It was perhaps a silly idea that gave birth to a rather failed experiment (for me). I was (and still am) so obsessed with Aria at the time that I didn’t give much to the plan; it was all about doing something wonderful relating to Aria.

As lolikitsune said, this was never about being the purest and most holy beings on the planet. For me, Mizunashi Mode was to see if I could be a nice person; not to say that I’m not, but I come off as slightly mean and antisocial to those that don’t know me well. I also hoped it would get me to talk to strangers, something I could never do with ease (and still can’t properly maintain a conversation).

They look so genuinely happy. I suppose I was looking for that, too.

This “experiment” was extremely difficult because I was trying to change my personality instead of my behavior. I wanted to become Akari, but that was a stupid and rather fruitless goal. Many times I asked myself, “Why am I doing this?” Eventually it came to the point at which I couldn’t go on being nice anymore. It was too difficult to change how I acted every day; I don’t praise my friends for little things, I bash them for even the slightest mistake, and we all laugh in the end.

It was something I should have known from the start. The world of Aria can never be realized in real life. It’s impossible for people to remain kind-hearted all the time. I should remain satisfied with the fact that I am unique and not always the gentlest person around.

So what was I looking for in the beginning? I don’t really know to be quite honest. I was expecting to find some kind of serenity; some kind of magic that Akari or Alicia feels every day (if either of them was real) that I could also share. In a way, I did experience that. There were times when I felt my kindness was being accepted and welcomed. It was a surreal, almost awe-inspiring feeling. People appreciate acts of generosity such as helping them pick up the books they dropped or holding the door for them. However, I never imagined what a simple greeting could do.

This isn’t a project to be abandoned now. I may revive it in the future with some revision, perhaps a completely different approach. We’ll see.

EDIT: Oh, wanted to mention RyanA of Aloe Dream. Thanks for trying it with us.

This post is tagged Aria, Mizunashi Akari, Mizunashi Mode

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